I Injure Myself in the Dumbest Ways

This weekend I twisted my ankle and I'm embarrassed about how. I have hardwood floors and am a little messy, so I slipped on clothes on the ground and twisted my ankle. The bruise took a few days to show up and is looking worse and worse. 

Other injuries I've given myself include the time I opened a closet door into my face and had a line on my forehead for a couple days, countless mystery bruises, and lots of other bumps to the head.

Here's another picture so my foot and awkwardly close face wouldn't show up in the thumbnail: